Doing It Scared
Lessons from Halloween
It’s spooky season! Pumpkins, costumes, haunted houses, and ghost stories everywhere. While Halloween is not super popular in the Netherlands, I love to watch a good horror movie these days.
But Halloween has always been more than candy and scares. Historically, it marked a time to acknowledge the unknown, confront shadows, and face uncertainty. In Celtic tradition, Samhain marked the end of the harvest and the thinning of the veil between the living and the dead. It was a time to face fears and prepare for the darker months ahead.
It’s the perfect reminder that fear is natural, but it doesn’t have to stop you and even rewards you with something sweet. In life, much like in haunted houses, the scariest parts are often the ones that lead to the biggest growth. Doing it scared means showing up even when your heart is racing, your palms are sweaty, and your inner critic is screaming.
Isn’t it paradox that we happily pay to get scared? We visit haunted houses, watch horror films, listen to true crime podcasts, or even do extreme sports like bungee jumping and sky diving. Clearly, we love the thrill and the adrenaline rushing through blood stream… Yet when it comes to our own good, our growth, our dreams, and the uncomfortable steps toward transformation, we chicken out. Why is that? We’re creating our very own horror movies in our minds: that we fail miserably. That people are going to laugh at us. Or leave us. But the truth is, the fear of the consequences (that horror movie we create) is usually much worse than what the consequences turn out to be in reality.
Fear is natural, and it exists to protect us and it’s needed for our survival. Without fear you wouldn’t look at the traffic before crossing a road. But in our modern, fast-paced world, our nervous system often misreads signals. You don’t have to be afraid of reading e-mails, writing that blog post, publishing your book or launching your business. But your nervous system reacts as if you’re in physical danger when really, you’re about to try something new. Unlike the people in the dark forests of medieval Europe, we aren’t in constant physical danger yet our bodies are still wired to respond as if we are.
Why Fear Exists and Why It Can Mislead Us
Fear is your internal alarm system. It’s the fight-flight-freeze-fawn response signalling: “Danger is near.” Evolutionarily, this kept humans alive. Today, however, our fears are more often about social, emotional, or creative threats than real physical harm.
But even social threats like rejection, judgement, losing status, or isolation trigger the same survival alarm. This is no coincidence: humans only survived for millennia because we were part of a community. Losing connection to others was a literal threat to survival. Today, your nervous system interprets the risk of social rejection the same way, even when it’s mostly symbolic.
Fear is misleading because it erases its own losses. You might feel like you’re not losing anything by staying in your comfort zone and avoiding that risk. But think about it: could you be living an entirely different life by now if you just had acted despite fear? Fear keeps potential unrealised, opportunities untaken, and dreams on pause.
Do It Scared
The magic happens when we acknowledge fear without letting it control us. Suppression and avoidance are the real enemies, not fear.
Here’s how to use fear as information, energy, and motivation:
Pause and feel it on your body
I cannot repeat this often enough! Every emotion has to be felt, including the uncomfortable ones like fear. Fear manifests physically: racing heart, tight chest, jittery limbs.
Notice it, breathe into it, and allow it to move rather than resist it.
Reflect on past wins
Remember a situation where you acted despite fear and it turned out fine, or even great. Let that memory remind your nervous system that you can survive discomfort and even thrive.
Break it into small steps
You don’t need to leap into the scariest moment immediately. One small, intentional action builds confidence and rewires your nervous system to associate fear with growth. Take it one step at a time, but take that first step!
Turn energy into action
Fear, anger, nervousness, or excitement. They are all physically the same: fully loaded adrenaline and high-voltage energy. Redirect them into movement, creation, or meaningful action. Pitch that idea. Send that email. Speak your truth. Write that book. Start that business.
Reframe it
Because fear, anger, nervousness and excitement are physically the same, the meaning we attach to it makes the difference. So can you reframe your fear into excitement? The other day I heard someone saying “nervcited.” A mix of nervousness and excitement. I loved it! Admitting you are feeling uneasy but also looking forward to what’s next is very honest. And this word describes it perfectly in my POV. So if necessary, come up your own word to make it work. Try to attach positive meaning to the fear (that is not life threatening).
Clarify your values
Like anger every burst of fear points to something you deeply care about. It’s pointing you into a different direction. Ask: “What would I want to protect, change, or claim if I weren’t scared?” Let fear become your compass revealing your priorities.
Practice nervous system regulation with your actions
Grounding practices like breath work, shaking, or cold exposure teach your body that fear is safe to feel. This is crucial for turning fear into conscious choice rather than compulsive avoidance.
Coaching: Halloween every day
You could say that coaching is like celebrating Halloween every day.
As a coach, “doing it scared” is a powerful framework for me and my clients. Fear signals areas of growth, unhealed patterns, or boundaries that need clarity. Teaching clients to approach fear as information and to sit with it, decode it, and channel it, transforms paralysis into empowerment. Just like Halloween invites people to confront shadows, coaching invites clients to face their own “ghosts”: old fears, limiting beliefs, or societal conditioning.
Spooky season is more than candy and costumes; it’s a metaphor for life itself. Fear is a signal, not a stop sign. Doing it scared means stepping forward despite nervous system alarms, using fear as a compass, and transforming high-voltage energy into growth. Remember: fear erases losses if we hide behind it. Reflect on times you’ve acted despite fear, imagine the possibilities if you continue, and notice the irony: you happily pay to get scared in fun ways, but hesitate to face the very fear that could unlock your next level. Your nervous system may flare up, but with awareness, action, and support, fear becomes a guide pointing toward resilience, freedom, and a life fully lived.