Newsflash: Emotional Eating isn't about Food

My 4 steps to overcome it

Reading this title might be like “Duh! I know this already.” But has it really clicked yet?

When we talk about hunger, we differentiate between 5 different types:

Physical Hunger (when your body needs energy)
Practical Hunger (when you know you won’t have much time to eat later)
Taste Hunger (when you are craving something specific, like a taste or texture)
Situational Hunger (when you pass by a bakery and you smell all the good stuff and suddenly want that croissant)
Emotional Hunger (when you feel… what exactly?)

So Let’s Talk About Emotional Hunger and What It’s Really About

Deep down, you already know this:
Emotional eating isn’t about hunger. Not physical hunger, anyway.

You’re not bingeing chips at 11 PM because your body lacks salt.
You’re not standing in front of the fridge at 3 PM because your cells are desperate for that leftover cake.
You’re eating because something underneath is pulling the strings.

Something that wants comfort.
Something that wants control.
Something that wants out.

It’s Not About Willpower

Let’s be clear: emotional eating is not a character flaw. It doesn’t mean you’re lazy or you’re lacking discipline. You are not failing because you can’t stick to your diet plan or just eat “intuitively.”

At some point in your life, you’ve learnt that food is comfort and soothing. Or you have been rewarded with it. Who didn’t have a parent that promised ice cream if we cleaned up our room? (Am I right?)

If food has historically been your comforter, your reward, your distraction, your rebellion even, of course your nervous system is going to reach for it. You’re trying to soothe yourself the best way you know how.

Food isn't the problem. It's a symptom.

So if we “just eat less” or try to “have more discipline,” we completely miss the point.
We silence the signal instead of understanding the message.

When we eat emotionally, we’re often trying to:

Numb something we don’t want to feel
Fill a void we can’t name
Avoid a thought that feels unbearable
Ground ourselves when we’re overwhelmed
Reclaim control in a life that feels chaotic
Give ourselves something when everything else feels out of reach

It can also be connected to:

Burnout and chronic stress
Suppressed anger or grief
Body image struggles
Perfectionism
Loneliness
Old family patterns around food, reward, or punishment
A lack of non-food-based self-soothing tools

Sounds any of this familiar? I bet it does.

So what to do instead?

This is the part no diet ever teaches: how to sit with your own emotions.
And honestly, it’s not glamorous. It’s not a quick fix. And it’s absolutely difficult and terrifying at first. But it is transformational and totally worth it. I promise!

So here are my 4 steps:

1. Pause, Don’t Punish

Before reaching for food, ask: “What am I really needing right now?” Not “should I really eat this?”

What’s going on underneath this urge?

2. Name the Feeling

“I feel bored.”
“I feel lonely.”

“I feel invisible today.”
“I feel unmotivated to go to this meeting.”
Naming it deflates the urgency. It reactivates your thinking brain (your prefrontal cortex). And now you become the observer instead of the reactor.

3. Offer Alternatives

What else could help right now?

Movement
Journaling
A voice note to a friend
A glass of water and a moment of stillness
Lying on the floor and crying (yes, seriously)

Food might still be the path you choose and that’s okay. The goal isn’t perfection.
The goal is creating awareness and choice.

4. Be Curious, Not Cruel

After an emotional eating episode, don’t jump into the shame game you’ve been playing your whole life.
Instead ask:

What did I need that I didn’t know how to give myself?
And how can I learn fulfil my need next time without reaching out to food?

This is how healing begins. Gently. Curiously. Consistently.

Food Is a Clue

Emotional eating isn’t the enemy. It’s a messenger.

It’s pointing you to where you’re still carrying unmet needs.
Where you’re numbing instead of nourishing.
Where you’re craving comfort but haven’t yet learnt how to receive it.

You don’t need another diet. You need deeper connection. With yourself. With your emotions. With your body.

And if you’re willing to listen to what’s beneath it and not just follow the urge blindly, everything can change. For real. Forever.