Maybe You Don't Need More Confidence
Maybe You Just Need To Remember
Last week I listened to the Let It Be Easy Podcast by Susie Moore (one of my daily rituals). This episode was called “You don’t need more confidence, you need a better memory.” And this episode really hit home.
In this episode Susie is talking about a friend who is going through some renovations at her house and it’s not going well. But then she remembered that she has done other renovations before and they were a lot worse and she also managed them.
You might think fine, but what has this to do with me?
We spend so much time trying to build confidence: taking courses, reading the books, repeating affirmations in the mirror like we’re summoning our inner Taylor Swift.
But maybe what you actually need isn’t more confidence. Maybe you just need a better memory.
Because when was the last time you actually stopped to remember what you’ve already lived through?
Confidence doesn’t always come from pep talks. It often comes from proof.
Remembering what you have already lived through: the heartbreaks, the losses, lows and challenges life throws at you.
And yet, you are still here! You made it through all of this. And you got stronger and more confident.
If you want to try something new that is scary to you and you’re waiting to build that confidence first, don’t wait for it.
Start looking for proof in your life and remember all the confidence you’ve already built.
I easily forget all the things I’ve already survived, accomplished and the great things I was able build out of challenging experiences and even pain. It didn’t always go perfectly, but good enough to get through.
For this new chapter in my life, building my coaching company and becoming more visible and being more active on social media I try to remember that.
Yes. It is still scary, but it’s also a great opportunity. And I can channel the confidence that is already there to get started and follow through with it. And as a bonus, I will probably build more confidence along the way.
Your Nervous System vs Your Soul
Your nervous system and your soul both have memories. But they are veeery different.
And that’s absolutely normal, because they both have, while equally important, different functions.
Your nervous system holds onto the threats, the warnings, the fear. That one time you failed. The time you were dismissed, ignored, not chosen.
It stores those as “evidence” to keep you safe. So every time you think about showing up, trying again, putting yourself out there, your body flinches.
Your soul on the other hand, remember all the good things, everything you’ve overcome.
She holds the quiet strength you built in hard times. She remembers the promises you made to yourself. She sees your resilience when your body just feels tired.
In the heat of a new challenge, our nervous system gets loud. It screams danger, uncertainty, don’t go there again. It wants to protect us from discomfort, even if it means holding us back from growth. That primal part of us hijacks the present moment, making us forget all the times we were brave, capable, and resourceful.
Meanwhile, your soul? It’s quiet. Calm. It whispers truth in subtle tones: You’ve got this. You’ve done this before. You’re safer than you think. Keep going.
But you have to slow down to hear it. You have to choose to remember.
Confidence isn’t a feeling we summon out of thin air. It’s a recollection. A remembering of who we already are and what we’ve already overcome.
If you don’t feel confident right now, try asking: What am I forgetting about myself?
So next time you feel like you’re crumbling under self-doubt, ask yourself:
“When have I felt this before ? And how did I rise then?”
You don’t need a miracle.
You need a memory.