The Problem with the "Glow-Up" Culture
Why True Self-Improvement Goes Deeper Than Aesthetics
In today’s online world, the idea of the “glow-up” has taken on a life of its own. Scroll through TikTok or Instagram, and you’ll find endless videos of people documenting their transformation journeys with complete new wardrobes, perfect hair, gym-toned bodies, skincare routines, and the latest aesthetic trends. It’s the promise of becoming your “best self,” but only if you look the part.
At first glance, glow-up culture can feel inspiring. After all, who doesn’t want to feel more confident in their appearance? But beneath the glossy edits and aspirational captions lies a troubling message: that your worth is measured by how much you can fix your face, body, or lifestyle to match an ever-shifting standard of beauty.
The Glow-Up Trap
Glow-up culture presents a linear before-and-after story: a “less-than” version of you versus the “ideal” version you should be striving for. This framing turns self-improvement into a performance — something to showcase online, validated by likes, shares, and compliments.
The trap is twofold:
- It suggests that the “before” version of you isn’t worthy of love, success, or happiness.
- It sets the “after” as a moving target because there’s always another procedure, another product, or another program being marketed as the next step to keep you glowing.
Of course some of those “glow ups” out there are really remarkable. And yes, I also love to watch them on Youtube and catch myself wanting to get some tips on my own glow-up.
But I’ve soon come to realise that I neither have the time, nor the financial resources to do all the things and buy all the products they have done and bought. Leaving me frustrated that I won’t ever be able to be as beautiful, as successful, as lovable and as happy as they are. And in those moments I have to actively remind myself: I am already worthy, beautiful and happy in my very own way.
What Gets Left Out
The wellness and beauty industries are quick to capitalize on this glow-up narrative. Influencers share routines that often require significant money, time, and privilege. The kind of access not everyone has, including me. A “glow-up” becomes less about self-love and more about consumerism, disguised as empowerment.
But what rarely gets shown is the deeper, quieter work of self-improvement, the real glow-up in my POV:
- Building resilience when life doesn’t go as planned.
- Learning to regulate your nervous system in times of stress.
- Developing the courage to set boundaries.
- Cultivating joy, meaning, and relationships that nourish you.
None of these things fit neatly into a 30-second reel, but they’re the foundations of real growth.
Redefining "Glow-Up" from a Stoic and Epicurean POV
Both Stoicism and Epicureanism (two ancient philosophies that I feel are incredibly relevant today) offer a different lens. Stoicism reminds us that true strength comes not from perfecting our appearance, but from mastering our responses to life’s challenges. A Stoic would argue that no skincare routine or new wardrobe can protect us from hardship. Only our inner discipline and clarity of values can.
Epicureanism, on the other hand, celebrates simple pleasures. It teaches that happiness doesn’t come from endless upgrading, but from enjoying what is already available: a nourishing meal, good company, or quiet moments of peace. In this light, a real “glow-up” might look like reclaiming presence and joy in everyday life, not chasing unattainable ideals.
What if we reimagined the glow-up not as an aesthetic transformation, but as an internal one?
- From self-doubt to self-trust.
- From overthinking to clarity.
- From people-pleasing to living aligned with your values.
For me this means having more self-respect. Respecting my body’s needs, my emotional boundaries and my mental health. And do some of these make me look better? Of course! If I feel better, I also look better. I mean drinking more water and eating more balanced has done wonders for my skin and also my weight. But looking better is not my primary goal here. It’s a nice bonus.
But foremost, I was tired, not only physically. But tired of being used as a doormat. Tired of constantly feeling sick. Tired of having negative thoughts running in my head over and over again. Tired of feeling stuck in a hamster wheel.
No, this is not the kind of transformation that you can capture in a perfectly lit mirror selfie in a 90 seconds. But it’s the one that sustains us in the long run.
There’s nothing wrong with wanting to feel beautiful, to upgrade your wardrobe, or to experiment with style. But when we equate our entire self-worth with aesthetics, we risk losing sight of what actually matters. True self-improvement is less about being “seen” as glowing and more about genuinely feeling grounded, resilient, and fulfilled. With that, the glow will come automatically from within. The real glow-up isn’t about changing how you look, but about transforming how you live.